Now it is my turn to be a bitch

I am now ignoring quite alot of people. I have been crying all day.
I have been sitting alone all day.
And honestly i feel quite happy.
As if.
I feel sick.
I feel lonely.
I feel sad and all i want to do is sit down and carry on watching sad films until i go to bed.

i actually hate my life. Apart from Toby

All my posts lately have been about how depressed i am and how i have been getting upset.#
The worst thing about it is that nobody actually cares. yes that's right, nobody gives a shit.
at school i can go off by myself but that is just because if i stayed any longer i would of;

• said something i shouldnt of said

• cried (i don't like my 'friends' seeing me cry)

• screamed

• hurt somebody

• hurt myself

• or of had a mental breakdown

I get really, i mean REALLY upset about stuff so i post about it on here but still nobody gets it.
Yes i know there are people worse of than me but still, i deserve some time too.
It just bugs me how without noticing my so called 'friends' dig and dig and dig at me which really gets on my nerves. Like how (somebody not to be named) said i had pubic hair eyebrows. Now that may sound absolutely hilarious but when i got home i cried and cried and cried. I didn't go up to the high street because i was really upset. I used to get bullied and i wanted to kill myself and slowly but  certainly i feel like it is starting to happen again.

I hate my life

I am always getting ill and have not been sleeping recently. I have stopped eating quite a bit amd am feeling really down. I cry for about two hours everyday. I have to pit on a braveface infront of ky friends though. I always want to do stuff with them but they never want to. I dont really mind if they want to have a house day but when i am alone at home i cry and cry and cry. I know you guys couldnt care less and neither could my 'friends' but i care and i just needed to let it go. Im crying right now just because i feel depressed. I get depressed alot and have nervous breakdowns. I find sometimes im not the nicest of people but that is just because i sometimes think that everybody is justpretending to be my friend. I'm sorry for laying this on you but here it is. Im not always the happy easygoing girl you think i am. I am really struggling in school and life in general. I sound so suicidal but dot worry im not. I just feel like everyone and everythig is against me and it makes me sad.

Mehh

Dadada

Wooo x
Im 13 sooon!
Eastenders is depressing
Party tomorrow
Blogspot is dead
Im posting random things
Im really bored
I want to open all of my presents
I am currently drinking squash
Lalala

Depression

Had the worst night ever. I was with a true friend all day and then shit happened when i got home. Wishing i had #him to talk to about it all but i dont. My life is falling apart and i dont know how long i can keep a smile on. Trying my hardest to fit in and be happy. But its really difficult and i am 4||getting really depressed. Really need to e3333stop trying to please others so much. And start pleasing myself. Would really appreciate it if somebody would just come to my house as a suprise with ears to listen, some trashy comedy films and a shoulder to cry on. Why is it always me who has to travel out to meet people. Why cant they visit me. Probably boring you all but oh well. Got nothing good to say anyway. If any of my true friends are reading this will you just hop on a train and come see me? Tired of having to do everything.

DADADDA

Well i havent blogged in AAAGGGEEESSSS but im back so...hey ;)
Right now Emma is in Florida. Kate is packing for france and i am preparing for Lonerville *sigh*
i am going to be a godmother for the second time on the 12th August.
That is pretty much it.
Not much has happened since last time i blogged so im gonna list the things that have
-I am no longer with ZebrA :'(
-I got a paddling pool
-i got an iphone
-i got a new niece called lorelai
-i got twitter... @missmdoige
-i had to explain to my nephew why he cannot go to preschool and big school at the same time
-i went to lakeside on the bus with kate
-i saw ice age 4 twice!
-i painted my bench
-i had a mental breakdown
-i had a nervous breakdown
-i had a nightmare whch kept me up for 8 hours that night :O
-i starte listening to different music like my chemical romance and avril lavigne
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
NOT IN TIME ORDER BY THE WAY 
**************************************************************

well goodbye for now Bloggerbots

LOve MAdge x