I hate my life

I am always getting ill and have not been sleeping recently. I have stopped eating quite a bit amd am feeling really down. I cry for about two hours everyday. I have to pit on a braveface infront of ky friends though. I always want to do stuff with them but they never want to. I dont really mind if they want to have a house day but when i am alone at home i cry and cry and cry. I know you guys couldnt care less and neither could my 'friends' but i care and i just needed to let it go. Im crying right now just because i feel depressed. I get depressed alot and have nervous breakdowns. I find sometimes im not the nicest of people but that is just because i sometimes think that everybody is justpretending to be my friend. I'm sorry for laying this on you but here it is. Im not always the happy easygoing girl you think i am. I am really struggling in school and life in general. I sound so suicidal but dot worry im not. I just feel like everyone and everythig is against me and it makes me sad.